20 Pounds GONE BYE BYE !!

I know its been a while since I posted. I have been struggling this month. Not that I have been eating crappy. Well maybe a crap food here and there but nothing like I used to eat. I have been struggling with eating enough calories to keep up with my activity. I lost 3 pounds in July and ALL of it was lean muscle mass!! Not good. I have been doing a lot in the yard. So I am sure that was a lot of it. But I just get so busy I forget to eat. Which is not good. So this month my goal is to not loose any muscle.

On the brighter side. I am down 20 pound and 4.5% of my BMI since I started this journey. I have learned a lot about myself and my body. I was at the dentist office the other day. We have been going there for along time and they are all practically family. I sit behind the desk and talk to the girlie's there. Well they are all on a loose weight kick. They had a scale and I just jumped on it. Didn't even think twice about them seeing how much I weigh. Because I think the number has now become a number and it doesn't matter how much you weigh its how you feel about the way you look. I still don't feel 100% good about my self but I feel a lot better. I also feel more energy and want to actually do things. Other than sit and watch TV.

I took KayDee school shopping the other day and I tried on some pants and I am down from a very tight 18 to a comfortable 16 which means soon down to a 14. I would love to just be a 10. Like I have said before I am not looking to be a tooth pick just a healthy weight for my hight and my body frame.

I have also been reading this book "Eat Right for Your Blood Type." Its pretty interesting. I am seeing that some of the food that is not for my blood type is food that makes my tummy upset. Like Dairy! Its pretty interesting I recommend reading it.

Well I guess I will get back to work or at least start to work on painting KayDee's room.

FINALLY!

Got on the scale this morning and I have finally broke threw the plateau 190.0 YEA!!!! 1 more pound to go and I have got to my second goal! To be out of the 190's!

I was watching Loosing it with Jillian the other night. SHE is one tuff cookie!! She was screaming in this lady's face and she yelled "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" I yelled at the TV "That I want to PUNCH you in your FACE!" I hear my kids in the other room start laughing. I think I might either break down and cry or I just might punch her in her face if her or anyone was screaming at me like that. I hate yelling. Though I find myself doing it sometimes. I guess its my way of saying "YOUR NOT LISTENING!" I feel bad when I yell but some of you will find that when your kids get to be teenagers sometimes its the only way to get your point across and even then you wonder if they heard you. I look back on all the naughty things I did growing up and see my kids doing some of them and all I have to say is "MOM, DAD and RICHANE I am sorry for being a bratty teenager! But you can rest assure that I am getting my pay back! I was just a boy crazy girl and drove them nuts. Now I have my very own Boy crazy girl! I think I have 2 more waiting to come out

and be BOY CRAZY!!!

Anyway--- WOW I got of track there for a minute.

I have started not only writing everything that I eat but the calories too. I have also been writing how many calories I burn on the treadmill. OK so to be honest I did it one day and that was yesterday. But I am doing it again today. I think it helps to know how many calories you are eating so that you don't eat too much or you don't eat enough. Its such a fine balance between the two. I really hate thinking about every freaking thing I eat but it helps. I figure by the time I am were I want to be I will just know and not have to think about it anymore. LETS HOPE!

I really have not felt deprived or hungry. I have had my belly growl because its hungry and I just try to pick something that is good for me instead of grabbing a bag of chips.

On our trip to California on the way down there we stopped in Elko to sleep and got a burger and McDonald's, talk about YUCK!!! I didn't get French fries I have not had fast food grease since April I think. I did have the low fat parfait so I didn't feel so guilty but boy did my gut hurt from that burger!! Then on the way home I tried it again. WHY I TORTURE MY SELF IS BEYOND ME! A burger just sounded good and when you are the road there is not much to choose from. And yep sure as shit my tummy hurt.

Traveling is not good when you are trying to loose weight. Driving I think is even worse. I gained

so much water weight that it was sick! I wanted to cry when I got on my moms scale and it said 198.5. Ok I actually did CRY! I had not seen that number in months and I did not like it! But I know it was water because as fast as I gained it. I lost it again. Plus I had on sweat capries and they left huge indents in my calves. It was like I was prego and the water weight was just there. You would push into my legs and it would leave indents. My ring was just re-sized from a 4 2/3 to a 4 1/4 and it was squeezing my figure!! STUPID WATER WEIGHT! Sucks being a girl sometimes. But then if I was a boy I

would not be able to have super cute shoes and purses!!!

Well I better get off the computer and get my butt on the treadmill so I can go see my friends baby and kiss his face!!!

No Energy!

I am sitting here on my butt thinking I should really get my butt down stairs and get on the treadmill. But I have no energy. I have been keeping track of my calorie intake because I am a stuck point of 191.2 been sitting here at that weight for a few days (except when I was in California and some how gained 8 pounds of water. I was so swollen that my sweats left deep imprints in my calves.) Anyway-- I have noticed that I am averaging about 230 calories a meal which is only 690 Calories a day (not counting snacks). So I think that explains the sudden stop in weight loss. I am not eating enough. I can't win for loosing here! I either eat too much get fat or not eat enough and stay the same fatty. Well at least I know what I need to do. I am going to go get my giant butt on the treadmill and eat more food!

Drivers License

Yesterday I had to go get my Drivers Licenses renewed. It was going to expire the next day. Talk about procrastination! On my way there I was thinking about my weight. Because I have lied on my drivers license weight for as long as I can remember. BUT not this year. I put the amount I weighed that morning which was 191. I hesitated a lot when writing that number. I thought maybe I should put the weight that I want to be at. Then I thought NO the person doing my license will think OH MY HELL she is so lying! Then I decided to write the correct amount so that I can look back and see what a chubby fat ass I really was and have prof that the day before my birthday my weight was at 191. Because I woke up this morning and weighed in at 196. NOT happy about that. I am so super swollen this morning. BLAHHHHH I hate being a girl! I am sure it had nothing to do with the popcorn I ate while watching a movie last night. :)

Well this will be a short blog today. I have lots to do. I will try to keep up on my weekly blogs on my weigh in days Tuesdays of every week!

One more thing. This picture of me and my Grandma Missy. I was almost one in this picture and today I am 36 years old. I hope that she is in heaven smiling down on my being proud of the person I have become. I love and miss you so much Grandma!