LIES LIES and more LIES!!

I was sitting here stewing about the number on the scale this morning. Then I remembered my last blog. I blogged about not caring what that number is. WELL I LIED! Its bugging me today. I feel like I have gone backwards in my effort to loose weight. I went to the doctor and told them not to tell me how much I weigh because I am trying to not focus on the number. But then caved in a few days later and got on the scale. It's easy to lie to your self when you don't know the actual number. I had to look, after I put on my pants that were my "FAT PANTS" and they were tight!! I wanted to cry that day. But when I got on the scale I thought it was going to say 220, I was surprised when the number was 202. Which is still WAY more than I wanted it to say. But felt good that my first goal gets to be loose enough to get under that 200 mark. Which is just 3 pounds. Then when I got on this morning (which I broke my own rule, I was only going to get on it on Mondays) and it said 204! What the F*%$! I was pissed. I have been working out, I know that has part to do with it. But it still pisses me off. Why can't I be like other people and just change all my habits and loose the weight fast. I hate you people that just think about loosing 10 pounds and its gone. What is up with that? Or the person that just stops drinking soda and 16 pounds gone! I have had one soda in 8 days and I gain!? Did I mention I hate those people that have a high metabolism and can eat whatever they want and NOT gain an pound. YUP I hate you all! Okay not really, I just wish it was as easy for me. I think I am at the point where I need another push I am loosing my momentum again. The first week is easy for me then I get to the second week and want to just loose a pound and that will keep me going for another week. But when I gain it just makes me want to give up. I am thankful for Lonnie she keeps me moving. Having a workout buddy helps me tons! Well I guess that is enough of my complaining I need to get MOVING!